One year down, with many highs and lows but I am glad to say I made it. Moving to a new city takes a lot of courage, will and self exploration. But moving unexpectedly, added a whirlwind of emotions that I’ve never felt of could explain.
If you don’t know my story, I came backpacking to Thailand just over a year ago. Focused on a self love adventure. My plans quickly changed when I met an amazing women who I couldn’t stop thinking about. From backpacker to unexpected expat, my life changed.
Dealing with the emotions of moving seemed like an easy task at first. Through my childhood I have moved every two years thanks to my Mothers wandering soul.
The idea of packing up and starting new was not a foreign concept and was welcomed. Of course, nothing is as easy at it seems.
Moving to Bangkok created some inner turmoil. I was sitting on a pile of questions, consistently asking myself “What are you doing here? Is this fair for you? Are you really adapting or just settling?”
I was forced to deal with these concerns head on, dragging my partner under the current with me.
Speaking as an expat, I think everyone has these feelings in some form or another. We’re living in a new country, a new culture, trying to explore our wildest dreams and sometimes comparing ourselves to the people in our lives back home. I’ll be honest, It took me a while to move through the sludge, clean myself off and wake up every morning with smile.
I discovered a lot about myself that I didn’t know before.
I felt like I was reevaluating my ethics, goals and lifestyle, and trying to find the balance between wild youth filled fun and structure. I have to thank my partner for her patience, because I had some strange ideas which I hoped would bring clarity.
I tried cleanses, obsessed over vegan youtubers, started skateboarding, I went to Meet Ups, I tested a fruitarian diet, I partied my ass off, I stayed home. Some of these ideas were a little extreme and received many eye rolls from my partner, but I was willing to try anything that brought me joy. Even if it was just eating papaya for days straight (not recommended).
Within a year I’ve changed, learned and experienced so much. Which I know if I decided to have left, I would never have felt this accomplished. Patience is key when exploring a new lifestyle.
Not everything will work out, there will be moments of loneliness, questioning periods and times where packing bags seems like the easiest and best solution. Working though the hard times makes the great times so much worth it.
One year down, how many more to go? Bring it on.
I can’t explain and I won’t even try”. A simple yet accurate description of the inner workings of Nat’s busy mind. She consistently changes her mind, but she’s dedicated to her trail mix and dragonfruit addiction, cats, podcasts and talk radio.